im posting this cos it was too big for the chat

(my charecter is a diclonius,meaning she has invisible arms that are 4 ft long and are powerfull,sadly she is mentaly unstable)

she pushed ms acacia away and quickly ran from the market with acacia close behind

as she ran her eyes became redder and redder before a smile appeared on her face...
her run became a walk when she was sure she had lost acacia


she found a group of 5 people cockfighting

2 of them stood up threatingly

"who the hell are you" one of the men said

"i am but a forsaken girl" she said menacingly

the men looked confusd

then one of them said "heh kid....you shouldnt wander streets alone...let me take you back to the market" he walked over to her and put his arm on her shoulder to coex her to leave..

"dont touch me" she whisperd under her breath

the mans arm vioenly flung of his body and spatterd onto the floor behind him

she looked at the shocked man who was shaking violently from shock
with a loud bang a hole appeared in his stoumach the men were trapped in this alleyway, the large intestine of her first victim floated up so it was level with beths blood red evil eyes,
with great speed the intestine bloodly wrapped itself around one of the mens neck, the pressure of the intestine soon made the mans head go POP! of his shoulders as it landed beth took a step closer towards the 3 men,

one of them couragaly took out a knife and ran at her but before he could get to her his legs came clean of and his unwilllingly amputated body sprawled across the alley floor

2 left..

the two men that remained backed against the wall

suddenly their left and right arms came of with a bone crunching snap

the two arms went through the opposite mans chest killing them both instantly,

she walked over to the man who had ran at her with a knife

"you tried to kill me..........." she said coldly

"vice vera......" he said smugly.....

"what is your name......" beth said her voice emotionless

"richard....richard derkier"

"well mr derkier....should i give you a quick death...or a long painful one" she giggled

he spat at her face..

"so be it...."

suddenly richard screamed in pain as his eyes were torn out slowly and painfully......
but before he could die...
beth was interrupted by acacia coming round the corner


musnt kill her musnt kill her musnt kill her musnt kill her musnt kill her musnt kill her !!! she thought to herself...her eyes fixated red

The conflict with the 5 men starts quite cliche, but the detail in their mode of death was fairly well written.
Give your character a bit more personality, instead of creating a generic crazy character give a reason for such violent insanity.
p.s. you character is a bit Garraish (from naruto)

oh! and check your grammar and spelling when writing.
thats it