When I played this, it was 4AM, and I couldn't sleep, so I said to myself: "Fuckit, I'm gonna watch hot chicks beat the crap out of each other."
I had little expectations for this game, so you can imagine my surprise when the game failed them. For such a simple, mindless concept, I'm intrigued that they could make it this bad. The controls suck. And when I say suck, I mean SUCK. Actually no, it's not entirely the controls fault. It's a combination between the controls, and the hit detection. On the off chance that your fighter does something you want her to, 40% of the time, it doesn't work.
The only way to truly make progress in the game, is to perform in stage matches, where to win, you must pin the opponent, something I could not figure out how to do, so I picked the option of "Street Fight" which features a health meter, like a proper fighter. After winning several matches in this mode, the game would not let me progress further, so I had no choice but to participate in exhibition mode.
I went into the tutorial to figure out how pinning works, and it seemed simple enough. Tap B when your opponent is lying on the floor. Here's the catch though, the computer opponent has a VAST advantage in this regard. If you are pinned, you must rapidly press buttons to escape. Using both hands, and tapping as fast as humanely possible, I was BARELY able to escape pins maybe 40% of the time. When you have the rare chance to perform a pin however, the opponent shrugs if only just as you see the "PIN" text appear.
Another terrible one for me has to be fable 3. I expected so much from this game and got it at a fairly cheap price so when you come to play it, the first thing you'll notice is the breadcrumb trail which guides you on where to go but also takes all your attention away from the beautiful environment in which you are playing. Then, there's the sanctuary which is your map, inventory, and everything which it shouldn't be. Honestly, I could go on for ages but this game isn't even worth ranting over. It wasn't anywhere near as good as fable 2 and it seriously sucks.
Pac-Man for the Atari 2600. At first, I thought this game was gonna be good when I played it when I was six. Boy was I wrong. The sound effects were ear-piercingly horrendous, and Pac-Man looked like crap. Atari 2600 graphics, of course, but this game was a rushed piece of doodoo.
Pac-Man Fever for the PS2. I played this game feverishly for a week. The music was annoyingly repetitive, and was a terrible party game.
Justice Leage: Injustice for All for the GBA. Just. Terrible.
Daxter for the PSP. I simply did not enjoy this game. Some of the boss fights were either ridiculously hard or ridiculously easy.
Platoon for the NES. The movie is great. The game is horrendous.
E.T. for the Atari 2600. Movie is great. Game is worse than horrendous.
Catz for PS2. Easy as sleeping except for one part where "your nose" screws up and sends you into a wall. Took forever for that worm. ONE WORM TO EAT THE VINES BINDING A WINDMILL. GET SOME SCISSORS YOU RETARD CATS!!
Wed Aug 22, 2012 5:39 pm by Lalo